crumbling apart .,

[alexander leonardo wyatt]

the words that were shooting across the computer screen before alexander's eyes were sending him into a completely different state. he knew this was bad, but not this bad. a year. she had a single year left with him before she would be ripped away in the most horrible way. he didn't respond back immediately when he received her message. his body froze. his stomach was in knots, his breathing was uneasy and his heart was shattering just beyond his chest.

they could be wrong. they're wrong. you're not going anywhere.
everything is going to be fine. you're going to get better.
you have to.

as he typed the words, he wasn't so sure whether he was trying to convince her that or himself, but either way it didn't help. shutting his chocolate colored eyes tightly together, he tried to keep himself intact. even though melrose couldn't see him, he needed to stay strong for her. he needed to be there for her.

[melrose estelle ortega]

melrose couldn't believe that it was all happening again. that her body was failing her, and that she was going to end up being horribly torn from the people she loved in what seemed like no time at all. she hated that she had kept it from alexander for so long, but it was only because she had his best interests in mind. she was there last time this had happen. she had seen what it had done to him. she didnt want him to worry - she knew how hard it was on him last time. but this was worse. a year. a year to live. tears were pouring down her cheeks as she stared at the screen, at his words. her fingers haltingly moved across the keyboard in response:

i wish, alex. i wish it was as easy as that... i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry that i let this get me again. can you... are you free? can you come over, alex? i need you.

[/center]

she felt bad for dragging him into it, but the sobs were taking over her. she hadn't let herself truly cry since she found out, but now she couldn't help it. she needed him like she needed the air that she breathed. please, come she prayed in her head, before seeing his response flash on the screen.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[alexander leonardo wyatt]

more than anything in the world, alexander wanted to make melrose happy. he wanted to be able to be the one to make her smile when she didn't want to, to be there for her when she needed him, to support her with anything and everything. he wanted to be the guy that she leaned on and he had every intention on being that guy now more than ever. he wasn't so sure how he was going to handle this, though. something this hard wasn't easy to act tough about. it was tearing him up completely. a walk through hell would have been more delightful than this.

it could be. stop it, rose. stop it. don't you apologize.. of course, sweetheart. i'll be right over if you want me to come over. whatever you want.

that was it. his breaking point had been hit right then and he knew it when he felt a few tears rush down his cheeks. this simply couldn't be happening to her. to him. how was he going to live without her once the year was up? the girl that he had always pictured marrying one day, having a family with. he shook his head in frustration and sadness, his hands rubbing at his face and fingers shoving through his curly hair.

[melrose estelle ortega]

she wished that she had told him sooner. the time that she had wasted just pulling him selfishly close while he had no idea of the sickness that was bubbling in her veins was wrong of her. he should know that the time she had left was limited. maybe he could start to move on so it didn't hurt so bad when she finally passed on. maybe he wouldn't hurt. she knew it was wishful thinking, but she couldn't help herself. anything for alex. it had always been anything for alex while he had always taken it as anything for her.

yes, i want you to come over. the front door's unlocked, and i'm here alone... just come right in, okay? i love you, alex. i love you so much.

[/b]

her heart clenched, and she closed her laptop screen, curling onto her side, her body shaking with sobs. why her? why did this have to happen to her, and she have to do this to him? melrose's heart clenched, and she let out a strangled gasp, burying her face in her hands. she hated this. she hated this more than anything. her hands ran through her hair, and she lost it. she let out a scream of frustration, tears falling down her cheeks. she wasnt one to be prone to these type of breakdowns. but she couldn't help it. her days were numbered, and she was just wondering where in the hell all of her time went.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[alexander leonardo wyatt]

words couldn't even begin to explain the pain that was coursing through his body. it began as emotional pain and it didn't take long to start to feel physical. like someone was just jabbing knives through his chest. why was this happening to them? he had been so happy when she had fought it off the second time. he had known right then and there that they were going to last a lifetime, that nothing was going to hold the two of them back from one another or separate them. now, it was just happening all over again, but it hurt twenty times as bad.

i love you too, melrose. more than anything else in the world.

and with that, he shut his laptop and practically sprinted out the door. the car ride over to her place wasn't an easy one as he tried to contain himself from breaking down behind the wheel. but, he felt it all happening either way. for the first time in a hell of a long time tears were falling down his soft cheeks. finally getting to her home, he parked the car and sat in it for a few moments collecting himself and brushing away at the liquid on his cheeks. in a matter of moments, he was stepping through the front door, locking the door behind him and heading straight up to her bedroom. a path that he had walked so many times before to spend time with her. the view before him managed to successfully tear his heart apart all over again. all he knew to do was to drop at her side and gather her thin body in his arms, holding her close to him as he pressed his lips on the top of her head. "i love you.. i love you." he muttered softly to her, his voice cracking slightly in the process. "you have to stay strong, rose. you have to believe you can fight this.. please.. you have to fight this again." his voice was soft and so unbearably gentle. there were a lot of things that alexander didn't have, a lot of things that he probably never would have, but was grateful for what he did have anyway. most of that attitude came from having rose in his life. if she slipped away from him, his immense love for her was going to tear him apart, his sanity was going to flee. "you can't leave me." those last few words slipped from his lips much, much softer than all the others.

[melrose estelle ortega]

rose wished, more than anything, that she could rewind time. back to before a few weeks ago, on a good day with her and alex alone together, and stay there forever. without a worry in the world, just laughing and kissing and telling each how how much they loved each other. rose would give anything. her head swung up to gaze at him when he dropped down beside her, and she allowed herself to sink into his chest, small shoulders shuddering with the intensity of the inner pain wracking through her. "i'm so sorry." she found herself whispering again. this had to be her fault. there must have been some other way she could have kept it away. "i l-love you." she whispered, broken. "i'll try." she told him, voice whisper quiet as to not crack with the force of teh sobs still occasionally wracking through her. she hated to be like this in front of him, but she couldn't help it. he always brought out the rawest parts of her. when he uttered those last few words, she looked up at him, her face wet with tears. she straightened herself in his arms, placing her hands on either side of his face, staring into his eyes, sniffling as she struggle to compose herself enough to speak, "i w-won't leave you, alexander." she promised, knowing that she'd try her damndest to keep that promise.

[alexander leonardo wyatt]

as he held her in his arms tightly, but gently, part of him wanted to refuse to believe that any of this was real. he wanted to lie to himself. to tell himself that she was fine. "don't be sorry.." he whispered back, softly rocking her in his arms. he didn't want her to put the blame on herself. it wasn't her fault that it had all come back to her and alexander sure as hell didn't blame her for it, so he didn't want any apologies. "and i love you.. you're going to get through this.. and - " he had to pause for a moment because he felt that if he hadn't he might become the one who was sobbing uncontrollably. he swallowed, hoping to rid of his dry throat before speaking again, " - and i'm going to be right here beside you through everything." he wasn't going to leave her side, there wasn't a chance in hell that he would. as he felt her shift in his arms, he brought a hand up quickly to his face, trying to wipe at his tears quickly. he knew it was useless to hide, but he didn't want melrose to see him breaking apart. as he brought his arm back around her, he felt her gentle touch on either side of his face, her eyes locking with his. as the sound of her words came into his ears, the smallest and weakest of smiles tugged at the corners of his lips. "i know you won't." and with that, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, a hand coming up to her cheek and a thumb gently grazing across it to wipe away at a few of her tears.

[melrose estelle ortega]

the fact that alex would not leave her side through this was not something that she could doubt. she knew it even without him having said it, and at once she felt grateful and bad about it. she wished that he didn't have to stop his life for her, but at the same time, she also knew that there was no place else he'd rather be. she knew that it probably made her selfish, but she didn't care. she loved him, and rose wanted to spend all of the time she possibly could in his arms, hearing him say things to her like you're going to get through this. maybe if he said it enough, it would be true. one could only hope. she nodded her head at his words, "i know." she returned, knowing that he would be and he'd keep that promise until the end. the end. everyone died sometime, right? her time was just coming a little sooner than they had both expected. she immediately shut that type of thought out of her head as she gazed into alex's eyes, her heart breaking more at the sight of tears staining his soft, rosy cheeks. melrose returned his weak smile with one of her own, kissing him back ever so gently. slowly, she pulled away, keeping her forehead against his, her shoulders beginning to shake again. this, this person right here, holding her in his arms, was everything. she couldn't bare to leave him... not like this. the tears started coming again, and her breath hitched as she stuttered out, "P-promise m-me something, Alexander." She whispered, opening her eyes and leaning back so he could stare into his own.

[alexander leonardo wyatt]

every word that came out of his mouth was honest, everything he said he meant fully and completely. there was no way that he was going to leave melrose alone through this now that he knew about what was going on with her. he had every intention on sticking by her side through the best and worst of times and this definitely was not an exception. but, even though he planned on being there for her, what if this didn't end well? what if the only girl he had ever loved fully and completely, the only girl he even wanted to love that way, was taken away from his grasp? what if this next year was it for them? as the sudden realization hit him, it hit him hard and he swore he could have felt his heart breaking even further. he had to look down and away from her for a moment as the thought darted in his mind. as their lips pressed gently against one another, just like every other time before, alexander knew there wasn't going to be another girl out there for him. there wasn't going to have to be, anyway. rose was going to get through this. she had to. he gazed deeply into her eyes as her forehead pressed against his, but as those tears suddenly started pouring from her eyes once more, both hands came up to her cheeks this time, wiping away at them gingerly. "shh.." he hushed her quietly, not wanting to see her so broken, but knowing there was no way around it. "anything, rose.. anything in the world." he replied back to her, taking one of her hands in his own. whatever she wanted, he would do for her. anything and everything.

[melrose estelle ortega]

melrose had gotten so comfortable. so convinced that she and alex might be able to spend the rest of their lives together, get married, and have kids. it was pretty heavy, for someone her age to be thinking like that, but she couldn't help it. besides, she was by no means young or immature - neither of them were. they were invested in their relationship for the long run... and it turned out that it may not be so long at all. every single time she found herself thinking something like that, something died inside of her. she was not only breaking her own heart, but she was breaking his, too. melrose kissed him softly, tenderly, but with everything she had in her. neither of them deserved this, but they were together. they would be able to fight this as best they could as long as they had each other. rose knew that at least she would have strength as long as he was by her side. she swallowed, twining their fingers together as she gazed deeply into his eyes, saying in a steadier voice, "live with me." she told him, exhaling softly before continuing, "let's do anything we've ever wanted to do in the next year. sky diving, chasing after dreams, traveling... let's just do it. no restrictions." melrose knew one thing - she wanted to live before she got so weak she couldn't do anything anymore. "let's do it together." she whispered, inhaling with as shuddering breath.

[alexander leonardo wyatt]

alexander realized that at his age he shouldn't be running around thinking that he was going to marry his girlfriend and that he was going to have a beautiful, solid future with her. but, alexander also realized that not many people his age had a relationship as sturdy as he had with rose. there wasn't a single thing in the world that he wouldn't do for her and he loved her with every fiber of his being. he woke up and thought about her, he went to sleep thinking about her. even when he was at work, the last place in the world he wanted to be, worrying about whether or not his dad was going to have enough money to pay for the rent at the end of the month; he was still thinking about her. he couldn't help but smile slightly in her direction at the promise she wanted him to make to her. he nodded slowly, but completely ready to grasp onto the promise he was about to make. "i promise. we'll do anything and everything." he paused for a moment before repeating her two words, "no restrictions." bringing his free hand up, he gently brushed some hair out of her face as she whispered to him. but, you have to make me a promise, too." he began suddenly, looking down at her hand in his before he covered it with his other one as well. "you have to promise me that you'll try to believe you'll get through this.. to believe that you're going to beat this." sighing, he finally looked back up at her. "just try to believe. that's all i'm asking."

[melrose estelle ortega]

if melrose had to tell you one thing she valued more than anything in the world, it would be alexander wyatt. they had been there for each other through everything - when her dad died, when his father was especially hard off for cash, the first time she was sick, as well as a bunch of other little things in between. one thing she would always know for sure was that she had always loved alexander. it had been the single constant thing in her life, and she grasped and hung to it tightly. his love for her made her feel alive. she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if anything was going to get her through this, it was going to be alexander. her dark eyes gazed up into his own as he promised to do anything and everything for her. she knew he would, too. he would travel to the ends of the earth for her - that type of devotion both scared you and made you feel like you were the most special person on the planet. it was a good thing she would do the exact same thing for him, or else sometimes she might be a little intimidated. melrose smiled back at him when he promised that they would do all those things together, a little bit of weight relieving itself from her heavy heart. when alexander asked melrose to promise him something, she jumped at it, "of course. anything." she told him, savoring the warmth she gathered from them. what he wanted her to promise she wasn't sure she could do. she would try to live, of course. but it was different matter entirely if she thought that her efforts would actually go anywhere and it wasn't just for the benefit of those around her. she gazed into his eyes for a long moment, before whispering, "i'll try. i promise." and she would. she would try her hardest. she didn't want to leave, not if the place she was going didn't have alex in it. she leaned into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed herself close to him. her hand found its way to rest on his chest, over his heart, and she allowed herself to be calmed by his heartbeat. she relaxed into him, murmuring softly, "i start chemo in three days." her voice was toneless, but she knew that alex would understand. chemotherapy was what she hated the most about this entire thing, how sick and hurting it made her. she just wanted it all to be over. but at the moment, she couldn't help but feel safe and sheltered in alexander's arms.